Phoenix Rising.

My adulthood has always been an endless cycle of ups and downs. As high as I fly, as deeply do I fall and I seem never to be able to enjoy a smooth, event-less flight. In no uncertain terms - I am the one who make my journeys progress this way and even though I at times long for something stable, everlasting and substantial, I am not quite sure whether I would find satisfaction in the calm waters I encounter while I sail the oceans of my life.

However, I often wonder if this might be due to one simple reason; I am yet to find a harbour that I would like to anchor in for extended period of time. I am still looking for that place of magic, of which existence I am certain, yet which my restless heart has not located. Therefore I find myself embarking on new adventures times and times again. I get lost in raging storms at sea constantly - still - as soon I find my bearings, my mind is already looking for that endless horizon, setting my sails to the wind.

Thus bouncing back and moving on has become something I am at this point highly proficient at – whether it is due to practice or just a simple resilience and a passion for life that I harbour within.

My personality thankfully makes these transitions somewhat smooth and almost effortless. Just like a true cancerian, when threatened and in danger, I withdraw into my shell, devoid of interference from others – but for what feels to many only an instant. Quickly emerging seemingly unharmed I posses the talent to rapidly move on. I do not linger too long with yesterday and I do not shut myself away from the world, sitting in darkness licking my wounds for months, questioning the cruelty of fate and life’s unfairness.
No, not me. Like the majestic phoenix, I rise from the ashes instantly and powerfully, as that is the only way I know how to recover.

Perhaps I bounce back so easily, as I never shun away from anything while I am in the process of living through my ordeals. I deal with every situation as it unfolds, right then and there. I follow my heart and my instincts and I always put myself in the line of the fire. I let myself be swept completely by my emotions, giving into them with a fiery passion, never holding back. I risk everything and I give my all, walking away from every battle - even the ones I lose - with a sense of victory.

Looking back at my past, I hold no regrets. It is my personal belief that the ultimate magic of living lies not in the success stories, but in the experiences born from events that went terribly wrong.
I am endlessly inspired by others, who just like me had to endure failures, over and over again, yet never lost their optimism, kindness nor integrity. Those who never became cynical or disillusioned and who despite their experiences refuse to live with caution and in fear.

As I move on for the millionth time, the pain of my recent losses is slowly turning into a plethora of bittersweet memories. No longer willing to offer my time or the energy of my thoughts to people that do not deserve them, I step out of my past, refusing to waste even a single moment of the magic that is my present.

Ultimately, I am ready to once again lay my gaze upon the endless horizon that is my future, as I set my sails anew, embarking on a pristine journey. At the present, I watch the brilliance of a fresh and enticing adventure, as it unfolds slowly in my view, beckoning me to give into it's allure with all my being.
And thus I set out, forever hopeful and eager to find that enchanted harbour of my dreams...

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching."
Unknown

(Images: Photobucket)