October 24, 2011

Current Reflections.

I have been somewhat absent from my writing here, for which I apologize. The will is there, the time is simply not.
When I left the single life behind a few months back, I left a lot of free time behind as well. Nevertheless, it is a loss I do not miss the least. On the contrary, I have never lived life so intensely as I do now and yet I feel so much has the potential to still unfold.

I find myself currently in a state of content. It is a novel feeling for me. This does not mean that I lack worries or problems, oh, a far cry from that I must admit. As of lately I struggle with our persistently and increasingly declining personal economy, trying to keep two homes, one close to unsellable.
However, it seems not to weight me down too much nor does it keep me sleepless. Why? Because when fears overcome me, I have always a broad shoulder to cry on and strong arms to support me. And a kind, steady voice to reassure me that everything is - and will be - fine. At last I have a man in my life that makes me feel safe, because he is just like me; believing in the same values and seeing life as an endless adventure, one that needs to be lived and savored. He never makes anything into a problem and he makes problems into nothing.

I have realized that in life we never get it all. At least not simultaneously. There is always that last part that needs fixing. I guess that is destiny's way of keeping us on our toes. Giving us something to learn at all times. If we only persist and never loose hope and a positive outlook, the lessons we learn will lead us to places of incredible success.

I have also come to the conclusion recently that we need so little of material possessions in our every day life. I have now lived for months in my new home and all I have brought with me from the white house are some of my clothes and personal belongings. And I miss nothing of my "stuff". Every time I visit the house and see all those items that I have collected over the years, I wonder why I kept so much junk. Why do we do this? Why do we surround us with things we never use? Perhaps it gives us some sort of security, makes us feel connected to our life and to our past. Small trinkets and gifts we do not want to discard due to sentimental reasons, and perhaps the idea that they might come to use at one time. They usually never do.

Do you feel you know yourself?
I thought I did, but honestly, I do not. Sitting here today, recollecting the past year and all that I have done, I have ultimately surprised myself. I have changed so much in such a short time and my priorities have been totally redefined. However, I do not think it is a tragedy at all. On the contrary, I think not knowing what we might be like or want in a few years (maybe even a few months) is what keeps life interesting. It is a sign of an ongoing personal change. To have it all figured out at any time in our life would make for an infinitely boring existence.

Finally, I have decided to pay attention to signs all around me. I have always done so, but I have become infinitely more sensitive to what the universe is trying to tell me, whether I will be ridiculed for this or not.  The other day when I was driving from work, consumed by anxious thoughts, I looked out to see an incredible rainbow.  I found consolation in its glorious beauty as the arch put my mind to ease.

Thus I am no longer scared of pain or set backs, as I know that after the rain the sun will eventually come out. And during the transition time, the reward for our endurance is a glimpse of an alluring rainbow.


Rahul Bhatia said...

Zuzana- You wrote so well! We need to shed that extra baggage we carry around!Your post was well worth a wait !

Elizabeth said...

Couldn't agree more and what a stunning rainbow, just splendid.

Enjoy your monday!

S. Susan Deborah said...

The rainbow is just how it ought to be and I guess that's about the same as your life as well.

Zuzana, enjoy the warmth and content of love. Hoping to reach your state sometime :)

Joy always,

Brian Miller said...

smiles. this is a beautiful post and i am so excited for you zuzana...i dont know that we will ever know ourselves completely....after the rain comes yes so does the sun...and in between rainbows....your content glows in the reading....

Kath said...

I always used to feel that way when we returned from our caravan. Looking around, I would think "Oh all this stuff!".
We gave a huge amount away when we came here and yet I am still finding things and asking "why did I keep that?".
You can have a good clear out when you eventually empty the White house.
In the meantime, enjoy the love and support of your wonderful man, you deserve it xx

Julie Hibbard said...

It's amazing that you and I seem to travel on the same road so often. Just yesterday I started writing about how quickly life can change and how fortunate we are to not know what the future holds.
I am so happy for your new-found contentment. Since I know you are so much like me, I know also that it is what we have searched our whole lives for.

Becky said...

Goodmorning Dear Zuzana!I so agree with these lovely words you have posted.I think we are a bit alike in some ways.Thanks for the uplifting blog.Thanks so much for always thinking of me and visiting all my blogs.Much appreciated dear friend.Blessings to you!

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

This post is so liberating Zuzana. I am SO PLEASED to see where you are in life...so happy for you too. I am in awe of the changes that life brings.
Lovely and well written.

Anonymous said...

Very wise words, Zuzana. I am always listening intently to the universe for answers.
Your rainbow photo is beautiful!
I was on my way home from work last week and saw a double rainbow. But by the time I got home, the clouds had just about covered it, so we couldn't get a good photo.

Bossy Betty said...

This was a beautiful piece and just what a needed right now. This touched me very deeply. Thank you!

Reading Tea Leaves said...

I love having a good sort out! When I moved to the cottage from a much larger apartment in London I got rid of practically everything and started again, buying pieces as and when! I don't tend to hoard stuff and it is very liberating. I have what I need and I'm satisfied.

You sound so happy and content Zuzana, despite the set-back of not being able to sell your old house. You can cope with anything when you are loved and supported.

Have a great week.


Myrna R. said...

Zuzana, your happiness is contagious. Thank you so much for lifting my spirits by knowing that you have such a positive and loving attitude toward life. I hope I learn from you how to accept life's ups and downs knowing I will see rainbows in between.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

I believe as we age we just become more comfortable in our skin and learn what others think truly isn't important.

I feel your happiness sweetie!

God bless ya and have an extraordinary day sweetie!!! :o)

Donna said...

Beautiful rainbow! I love how you reflect on things.


bright star said...

Dear Suzana,you must go with the flow,your house will sell,it will become someone elses dream! It is lovely to know that you are so happy and that you feel safe.Enjoy! lol Angela

Mimi said...

Zuzana, beautiful and wise words.
from my camping experiences with my kids, I realised that we need very few of the possessions we hang onto, and that comfort of one kind or another is all they bring to our lives. But the biggest comfort, as you rightly say, comes from our fellow human beings, especially those empathetic ones!
So happy for you!

A Lady's Life said...

As you grow older you collect things. I always thought I would have one day a space for myself where I could begin to do things I like like craft work and sewing. What I basically always wanted was a barn for myself lol to do my kinda things. I keep things for my kids I thought one day they would like. Like yesterday I found my Sons picasso art lol I call it picasso because it makes no sense. But I treasure and hope to do some art with it so he can hang it and show his kids. I have paintings I drew which are now antiques and thought my kids would love them one day something to remember me by.
I made knitted and crocheted blankets, sewed for the same reasons. To leave something of myself behind like my grand mother did.Once I went to a craft sale and found this gorgeous apron. It was made by someone who knew her crochet art. It was something to hang not wear beside a stove.
I treasure it and her without knowing her.She was a special person. So we collect things hoping someone will remember and treasure, a piece of a life.

Anonymous said...

You're so very right in everything you say. I know it's corny - but without rain, there is no rainbow.

Your shots are fabulous and that rainbow one is amazing!

I'm so glad you have finally found all the happiness and beauty you deserve.

Snowbrush said...

Wow, what a rainbow. I'm so glad you're happy, Zuzana.

"Do you feel you know yourself?"

Not any more. I've lost the belief that I possess a stable animus that persists through time.

Ruby said...

Your words about destiny struck a note. Its great that you are very happy discovering yourself.This is an incredible post and a beautiful picture.

Rajesh said...

You are currently in beautiful phase of life. Enjoy it.

Amanda Summer said...

this is a beautiful post zuzana. what you say about not getting it all is so wise - as is not really needing all the stuff we surround ourselves with. as cancerians, we can tend to be pack rats and keep things. i've had to work hard to continually donate items - it feels good to be lean and mean, as they say ;=)

as always, i love stopping by your place. it feels like a daily dose of wisdom served with a warm mug of chocolate.

blessings to you dear zuzana~


SandyCarlson said...

I am glad you have the good kind of busy working for you. That is wonderful. I am happy that you are happy.

Punk Chopsticks said...

"I have realized that in life we never get it all. At least not simultaneously. There is always that last part that needs fixing. I guess that is destiny's way of keeping us on our toes. Giving us something to learn at all times. If we only persist and never loose hope and a positive outlook, the lessons we learn will lead us to places of incredible success."

This is my absolute favorite paragraph! You're such a good write, I envy the way you manage to convey your thoughts and expressions through words...gah, if only I had that kind of talent

Margie said...

Zuzana, how happy you sound!
How wonderful!

Lovely post!
Gorgeous pics too!
And so nice to be here after a while!

Margie xo

Margie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Very well written and with each paragraph I could feel life becoming lighter and a more enjoyable place to be. Many things have changed in my life this past year that I can relate to your words.
We can live simply if we wish, as we don't need much really. And I agree having more and more is just there to make us feel secure. I now feel secure with less.
Each period of life teaches us something and with every struggle we grow.
So let's celebrate Life and keep fears and doubts away - they don't serve us.
Take care Zuzana

Anonymous said...

So happy you found true love Zuzana. Saw your comment on TexWisgirl and decided to pop over. You have a beautiful space here. I'm glad I stopped by. I will make sure to return. Hugs from faraway Michigan, Margie

Unknown said...

Ah, I understand. Last year, I simplified so many things and this made life more enjoyable. Not that I don't appreciate nice things. Rather, I like open spaces and surrounding myself with things that hold real meaning. You sound happy and reflective. I wish you continued happiness!!! And I'll sign off as you do: xoxo!

Kat_RN said...

As always your words inspire me. I too have a wonderful man to share my worries and hopes with. Makes all the difference.
p.s. Your posts are worth waiting for so don't worry about how often they come, as long as they come from you.

A Plain Observer said...

Wonderful reflections, many that made me ponder. Do I know myself, do we know ourselves? the answer is no and that is a good thing. We are a work in progress and that, too, is a good thing. Sometimes while reconnecting with a friend after a few years, I am told how much I have changed. Subtles changes I did not notice.

Embrace life, embrace happiness as it is given to you now. If it changes, when it changes, as you said, you know there will be another rainbow and the sun that will dry the rain...or the tears.

Zuzana said...

Dear friends, glad you enjoyed this contemplative and reflective post. I am a thinker and a sensitive soul and I can easily escape into my mind, just contemplating life.

At times this is wonderful as I perceive life more passionately, but at times I also tend to over think things.;)
I am glad though that many of you can recognize or appreciate the sentiments expressed here.

Thank you all for stopping by - glad you enjoyed the rainbow.;)