March 15, 2013

Moody March.

Our Fire
We are mid March and the subzero temperatures are back. The brief taste of spring at this month's onset disappeared as fast as it arrived - lady Winter is not ready to quit just yet.
As we all know, the first vernal month is capricious and moody. It can switch between seasons at its own fancy, testing our patience and tolerance. In my native language, there is a rhyme that describes this third month something like this; March, lets get back to the fire.

And that is indeed my favorite spot currently. In fact that is where I am sitting right now, typing away.

Our house came with a wood-burning stove. Even though it can by no means match the beauty of my old fireplace in the white house on the hill, it does what it is suppose to do - it creates a cozy, warm spot in our living room. Equipped with a glass door, it enables me to watch the fire. I love everything about it - the scent, the sound and the hypnotic dance of the flames that so easily make my mind travel in time and space.
This feature is one of the reasons why I fell for our house at first sight.

Beam Of Morning Sun
There is yet another illumination defining my perception currently; the increasing daylight.
The light - whether it is the lack or abundance of it - is my infinite fascination with the European North. I love the incredible shifts that the seasons here provide. The winter and the summer differ about eleven hours when it comes to light - and we are only in southern Scandinavia.
Our home does not have any spectacular views of either sunrises or sunsets, still the bay windows of the north facing kitchen can offer alluring morning views. Recently, during a winter dawn, the young sun emitted a beam of light, shooting straight up across the purple sky like a solar laser, creating an unforgettable moment.

View Into Our Living-room
The house is starting to look like a home. It is amusing to watch my belongings emerge from all the boxes, being mixed with my husbands possessions. I have not seen my things for the past year and a half and it is infinitely exciting to realize that our items fit together so very well and that we both have similar taste in interior design.

Sometimes I have to smile when I think about how one single decision, the one that I took against all odds and the one that made my family and friends question my sanity - took me here. Today no one any longer doubt my abilities to choose, even if it took me a while to get my choices right.

My phone chimes as a text message arrives from my stepdaughter. She is out with her friends and I am sitting here, in the warmth of the flickering fire, waiting for her to come home safely.
She is my responsibility today, as are the boys, while their father is once again away through work, an occurrence I am slowly getting accustomed to.
Her text is full of affectionate words that touch me almost to tears...

I experience a momentary flashback to when I was a teenager and my own mom was waiting for me and my sister, to come home from a dance, or a party.
My husband's daughter is as carefree as I was then and I am as worried sick, as my mother was.

Text From My Stepdaughter
It is not easy to be a step mom and half of the time I have no idea what I am doing. I move constantly in an uncharted territory, being thrown into a substitute parenthood of three teenagers, who two years ago did not even know I existed. I find it difficult at times to relate to my role - I am not their mother, nor will I ever be, yet I participate more than just a friend in their life.
Furthermore I missed out on their early years, I never seen them as babies or children and just jumped into a life in progress - I do not know the first thing about raising kids, least of all teenagers.
In the end of the day though all I can do is to trust that my love and good intentions are enough... The touching words in my stepdaughters message are at least a good indication that I am on the right track.

A log falls over in the fire and Sammy shifts in the chair opposite me.
All of the Sammy (aka Batcat) fans will be happy to learn that my feline companion is doing superb. He survived the move without any problems. The initial shock of the relocation lasted only a couple of hours and already on the first day, Sammy happily roamed the house, searching for his new favorite spot.
On sunny days he can be exclusively found napping inside one of our southbound windows. Watching him sleep this way is extremely soothing, as no one can relax and enjoy life as the felines can.
One day I hope he will let me in on his secret.

Our "Sammy boy"


Rahul Bhatia said...

So the new place has brought you face to face with many new realities of life Zuzana! Hope the Spring returns:)

Anonymous said...

Your life is wonderful - so glad to hear it! And sounds as if you are on the right track with the teenagers - love is the key!

Brian Miller said...

cute pic of sammy...i think love and good intentions go a long way....cant imagine starting parenthood with teens...i might go a bit crazy....ha....

Kath said...

The young people are just responding to your natural kindness and empathy, I'm sure you'll get along very well.
Your new home sounds delightful, I'm so happy you have a fire again, to cosy up in this harsh month of March.

Elizabeth said...

What a great SMS you got Sweety .... you are definitely on the right track!
and my track leads me to Julie today, spending the weekend at her place! :))

Maggi said...

So glad that you are settling in well and that Sammy is too.

Myrna R. said...

Zusana, you sound so happy. I can understand your concerns about parenting. I think all parents have those, even those who've raised their kids from birth. It sounds like you're doing great. The very fact that your intention is to be a good parent must be evident to the kids. Your new house looks beautiful, touched by your sensitivity and style. I hope you stay happy appreciating the rhythm of your new life.

A Lady's Life said...

That was a beautiful post Zuzana.
Sammy smelled home in your items that he is familiar with so he understood he belongs there.
You got the best job of being a trusted friend to kids at a time where a real parent would have trouble.
Each child is different. Parents are always discovering what and how to do it lol
No one truly knows what they are doing.So don't worry too much.;)It is also nice they are around .This way you are not so lonely at home at night.
I never liked being alone at night and so I always had a dog for security.
Last night all the dogs in the neighborhood were barking including mine, and we don't know why.It's nice to be able to set up a home and put your husbands things with yours. Now the house will be a true home. :)

Unknown said...

quite a change for you in the last few years. a learning and growing experience full with excitement and a load of new feelings. I am so happy for you.

Marie Kléber said...

So nice to read you once again Zuzana - Your words are pure delight and I am gald you start to find your place in this new home with your family.
Much love dear.

Snowbrush said...

Good old Sammy. I'm so glad he's liking his new home.

SandyCarlson said...

Thank you for this post, lovely lady. I am sure your love is a great boon to your stepchildren. Trust your heart!

Anonymous said...

Your new home sounds both comfortable and beautiful, Zuzana.
All parents feel as if we don't know what we are doing. Just live each day with love, and it all will work out perfectly. :)
Hugs to you & yours,

Hilary said...

Well how lovely that everyone is settling in so nicely. I am encouraged to hear that Sammy is finding it easy after just a couple of hours. With a move hopefully looming for us (one of these days), I want to believe that my cats will cope well. They've never moved before.. except into my home at just a few weeks of age.

Ruby said...

Great to see you happy Zuzana! Love you living room decor!

Unknown said...

My hibernation time is so over and right now i am busy prepping my garden shed.

Amanda Summer said...

you sound so content and peaceful zuzana, and you deserve it. how wonderful to be by the crackling fire and know all that beauty of winter waits outside, along with the increasing sunlight. and while i can't read danish, it is easy to tell from your stepdaughter's text that she loves you very much.

blessings for more such beautiful moments in your week ahead,


Draffin Bears said...

Dear Zuzana,

You have shared a beautiful post and so happy that life is settling down for you all. Takes time to get all the boxes unpacked and set up your new house.
I think we can all relate, like you about caring for teenagers - I just say take each day as it comes, show them love and everything will work out.
Sammy boy looks like he has the perfect resting spot, in the sun.
Oh to have that life.

Enjoy the week

Donna said...

Sounds like you are adjusting to your beautiful life.


Sumandebray said...

This is a complete post. Loved reading through all the aspects that touches your life.
Glad to know about Batcat too

Rajesh said...

You live in a beautiful place such a lovely weather. Here it is getting hot here.

Catherine said...

I think love and good intentions are the most important things Zuzana, with stepchildren as well as one's own children, but I can see that it is particularly challenging for you all, to come into each others lives and just have to run with it. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. Enjoy your new home x

adrielleroyale said...

Now I can't remember if I commented on this one or not lol, but I am again just thrilled for you and your new home and for the affection of the children (now young adults) toward you! How blessed are they to have a step mom like you! I am so thankful for my step parents as well - they are both such blessings to my parents and to us siblings! Happy unpacking my friend! :)