Emotions Of Change.

Change - a term full of contradictions, yet the only constant in life.
Changes are never easy and feel more complicated and dramatic the older we get, but they are vital and important if we want to live fully and completely.

I do not think that I exaggerate, when I claim being an expert at changes. My life has been altered numerous times - in fact I feel that at this point it consists of several life times, woven together into an intricate personality tapestry, making me into who I am.

Thus today, while being in the process of altering my life once again, I know pretty accurately what to expect. I have over the years learned several vital facts about myself and about human nature over all, the most important being that we posses an uncanny way to adapt to new situations - something that makes us such a successful living species here on Earth. And I believe that those individuals that master this ability with an ease will always thrive and prosper.

Having made drastic changes in my life in the past, I know that my psyche undergoes a very interesting transformation and I go through many different emotional stages. I know at this point that it is extremely important to acknowledge them and process them all, as they reflect my state of mind. To ignore them would have devastating effect on my future well being.

So what exactly are my emotions of change?

Initially, there is that overwhelming feeling of excitement, almost exhilaration and the feeling of being invincible. It comes close to a reality denial, or a certain reality numbness.
Everything is possible.
This can last for extended period of time and gives rise to many moments of daydreaming, being a constant source of energy and happiness. Every change in my life came because I was looking for it and was yearning for it. Nevertheless the changes that actually do occur are unpredictable and are a result of combination of events, thus often the change we chose brings about in its turn some changes that we never planned on. Therefore slowly, the excitement recedes, but should still linger in the background, if we feel the changes we are making are the right ones.

As the exhilarating emotions subside, there is a time of awakening. A reality check. This can be more or less abrupt and a sobering experience, realizing all the practical aspect of a change and concluding that no matter how we turn the coin around, it has always two sides - and that good comes with the bad. Often at this point, there are feelings of fear and the mind is filled with anxious thoughts, at times deep worries and even remorse. "Better the devil you know" is a term so appropriate in this context. It is often very unnerving to undergo a change, even if the change is good, because the familiar - however bad and unsatisfactory - always feels so safe.

Here it is thus very important to realize, in my opinion, that every change consists of two stages; a loss and a gain. To acknowledge the loss is extremely vital, at least it is to me. I need to be allowed to part with what was, small ceremonies if you will and moments to mourn. I need to say farewell to my past in order to be able to move on into the future and to be able to accept the gain - as something good and new, rewarding and brilliant.

Once I leave the past in the past, hence comes the process of transformation, relocation and adaptation. I often feel I gain a second wind here, become more optimistic and full of energy, realizing - the change is happening now. A certain point of no return instigates a feeling of accomplishment and fresh resolutions, new starts and new beginnings. These are often not easy times and can result in a mixed outlet of tears and laughter, but these are the moments that usher us into our new existence.

And thus a new reality starts, an alteration of at times major proportions. A time of adaptation and discovery, a time of incredible personal growth and a realization of the endless strength we posses and what capable beings we actually are. Ultimately we gain an awareness of all the magic that exists in life, at all times available for us to seize, if we only dare to.
The many changes I have undertaken in the past have made me realize that life is truly beautiful - if we only have the courage to live it.