August 24, 2012

The Sunday of Summer.

August Bloom In Our Garden
August is much like a Sunday. It is still weekend, but the threat of Monday is imminent. In the case of August; it is still summer, yet autumn is approaching fast.

The second season this year was a total disappointment weather wise, going down as one of the coldest and rainiest in history. Luckily, its ultimate month did granted us a few warm days, even if they came a little too late. That unmistakable finale hangs now in the air, while the sun lies ever so low above the horizon and its shine grows golden. The atmosphere resonates with maturity, as crops grow heavy and all the fruit and berries ripen, getting ready for the harvest at the onset of fall.

Although I am saddened by the fact that my favorite time of the year is concluding, the seasonal changes are nevertheless reassuring and simultaneously alluring. The natural circle mimics the events in our own life, where the good and the bad alternates, creating a vital balance.
The older I get, the more I begin to realize that everything, whether it is positive or negative, has its purpose to play. So many times in my past have I seen my dreams crushed and that which I have hoped for pass me by, yet in hindsight I know that the doors that eventually opened led me to better places.

Heart Formed By Our Candle
This is how I met my husband - after a period of tragedy, disappointment and personal loss, feeling discarded and abandoned, I painfully watched as a door slowly closed forever on an ineradicable dream. Yet as I picked myself up, gathering the last of my strength, ready to continue living again, refusing to give into despair and resignation, for once I decided to walk through the gate that was opened  -  and there he stood, the man of my dreams. The one I have been waiting and feverishly searching for my whole life, offering me hope, love and new dreams. I will forever be left wondering how this came to be and only a belief in the spiritual and divine offers any explanation.
Very soon I will once again gaze into those steel blue eyes of his, deep and enticing like the North Sea, holding so much love and affection, as I once again fall into his embrace - the only place I feel completely safe and sheltered.

Until then, I see those same eyes in his children, while they laugh and rummage through the house, having kept me company this week. Thus my own, however deeply embedded parental instincts are brought to life. I am glad to notice how relaxed they are now around me, as compared to the initial few encounters - they behave currently very much the same as when their father is here with us. A time span of a year is certainly much longer in a child's perception - at this point my presence in their reality is something constant and comforting.

My Pasta Salad
I am therefore becoming more sensitive and experienced in areas I have not needed to before. Being thrown into parenthood, never having to raise my own children, I am excelling in other parts of life, such as improving my culinary skills. Considering myself at all times a disaster in the kitchen, I have come to the conclusion that this might not necessarily be the case. I just need some practice and perhaps one day I might even enjoy cooking - and be really good at it.

So much change has taken place in the past year and a half. As I briefly return to read my old posts, I can feel that I have changed too. All the challenges, alterations and new encounters of the past sixteen months have created a novel me.

Whether I am better or worse than before is impossible for me to asses, all I know with certainty is that I am the happiest I have ever been. Every change takes something from us as well as it gives.
The best life however is the one which is a work in progress, an unfinished painting, a diamond in the rough. A blank page to be yet filled with sentences describing new adventures and life altering reflections.


Rahul Bhatia said...

Change is the only constant in our lives, Zuzana:)

S. Susan Deborah said...

The woman who was born under the Tatra Mountains is experiencing wonderful and subtle changes in her life and ways of thinking.
Zuzana, having been part of your journey through the Reflections, I can sense the calm that has spread over your being after the recent changes that have taken place in your life. I am happy that life has saved the best for you and that it has given you what needed to complete and nourish you.
For the first time, I am seeing food here and that says a lot about this home bird which first started its flight in the Tatra Mountains.

I wish you love, peace and joy always.

Much love,

Elizabeth said...

You are just AWESOME!!!!

Kath said...

"The best life however is the one which is a work in progress,"

never a truer word my beautiful friend.

Love your new photo!

Marie Kléber said...

There is so much wisdom in your words Zuzana. Yes we learn along the way and when we feel life is escaping, something happens that makes us believe even more in the glory of the Creator.
As you will soon be reunited with your husband, I will let mine go for 2 months. The Circle of Life and I hope to use this time to gain wisdom and serenity too, knowing wherever he goes there is a link between us, the love we share and much more.

Have a lovely week-end. As for me I am glad to see the Autumn coming, the summer has been pretty bad and cold and I can't wait to see the leaves of the trees falling! xoxo

Brian Miller said...

i love the is my fav time of year....the crisp mornings, the flash of color int eh change of trees...the change does remind us that things change often and soon enough....glad fate smiled on your with your love each other immensely and that is a wonderful thing....

lilybets said...

You have practiced to live day by day finding the true love, be strong also in the will be very good!!!

'Tsuki said...

Great post ; I love the way you tell your day !

Anonymous said...

I'm so happy that you are happy : )
Things happen when they are supposed to. We often question this, but shouldn't. There is big picture to our lives. Have a great weekend!

A Lady's Life said...

Being so happy, the children sense it as well and you have so much to teach them.
You are an inspiration in this house, a friend who can mother, a mother who can also be a friend.
Such a significant role to play in the life of the man you love and a family who has found a very special girl to love in return. :)

Betsy Brock said...

Glad you're enjoying the kids this past week! Your pasta dish looks lovely! :) Not long now! And yes, I do believe you have proven the phrase 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' :)

SandyCarlson said...

How you live and grow and give and give again. You must all make a marvelous family. You are so thoughtful and caring. Bring on the reunion!

And I so very much like what you say about August and Sunday. The prospect of returning to school on Monday has me feeling this very closely!

sprinkles said...

That pasta salad looks really good! I'm not a great cook. I tend to not have the patience. When the recipe calls to slowly heat something up, I heat it faster so it doesn't take as long. If I don't have an ingredient, I'll substitute it with something else that never seems to be the right choice. If I had someone to cook for on a regular basis other than myself, I would probably put a little more effort into it.

I'm sorry your weather seems to have changed so drastically. We had cooler weather today, but it was still plenty hot out. We haven't had a real rainfall in quite awhile.

You know, I've had a lot of changes in the past year too! None of them were quite as dramatic as yours, but they were mostly pretty good changes!

Anonymous said...

My thinking has changed over the past decade. I can control the little things in my life, but the bigger things - well, I believe that we receive a lot of help. :)
Summer started here with wildfires and now there has been so much rain. But it all balances in the bigger scheme of things.
Happy weekend to you, my friend!

Mimi said...

I love your opening paragraph Zuzana! It encapsulates how I feel about August. This year, our weather has been exactly like yours, and, like a project that refuses to co-operate, I feel like saying to Summer "go away, just forget it, it's too late now"!
Great that you're so happy, and soon to be even happier, and it's lovely that the children have been around this week to keep you company and remind you (not that you'd forget!) of your loved one.
I used to be exactly like you re cooking, then a dear friend showed me a few things and hey presto, I discovered an inner cook! I especially love baking!
Btw, you look fab in that grey dress!

Jerry said...

I have often suspected that it require external stimuli to encourage growth. If we are locked into ourselves, we have nothing to challenge us and push us forward. But introduce something external into our lives, it forces us to confront and adapt...and therefore grow.

And you have done so with fervor and grace, and all benefit from it.

adrielleroyale said...

What Jerry said lol Love that guy!! I love this - and how wonderful that you have this blog to look back on and see the progression! I am so happy for you and cannot wait to hear all about your wonderful reunion with your beloved husband - what a beautiful walk you walk! :)

Anonymous said...

Your pasta salad looks great and I'm sure it tastes as good as it looks...

bright star said...

Fantastic Zuzana,as you say ,not long now until he is back. Glad you are enjoying the kids. x Angela

A Plain Observer said...

We have had one of the warmest summers in history with back to back heat waves. Awful running weather with high humidity, but wonderful summer weather if you are not training for a marathon.
Yes, seasons are like life. Inevitable changes, beautiful seasons, disappointing days. It is all part of that balance you mention.

Rajesh said...

Change can not be avoided. But, best part is you are in a space where you are enjoying your life now.

Anonymous said...

Ah- so wonderful. I can feel your joy!

I never cooked at all before the kids came along... I'm not terribly good, but at least I can cook nowadays!

Love that line about the best life being the one that is a work in progress. So true.

Hilary said...

So true about August and Sunday. I have felt that way since childhood. Change is good.. it brings challenges and growth. I'm happy for your own happiness.

Unknown said...

You sound very Happy inyour heart, Zuzana and, of course, I celebrate this!!! There are great things ahead!!!!

Michael :)

Kim said...

You say so many things about what I have been thinking and is truly bonding!♥