January 26, 2013

Endings And Beginnings.

Our Old House
In exactly two weeks, we will leave this house, never to return.
It is an old rental, bearing an imprint of the seventies, when it's cornerstone was laid. It is drafty, with faulty electrical wiring, outdated appliances and in a desperate need of a makeover. It is too small and too impractical.
Still, I can not help but feeling slightly sentimental saying my good byes.

It has been my home for the past eighteen months and my husband spend seven years here, watching his children grow from babies into teenagers. As much as our departure touches me, it must move him in a quite profound way, despite the fact that he at all times viewed it as a temporary place of residence, while he waited for his life to resume after his marriage fell apart.

I often mention in my writing how happy I am and how meeting the love of my life became the onset of my personal golden age.
However I often forget, that just as much as he changed my life around, I also changed his. I brought his way love, affection and a sense of happiness he searched feverishly for. Additionally, I came with immense possibilities, changing his life style, offering him and his kids a better reality.
None of us could have afford the beautiful house we are about to move into before we met - together we have redefined each others reality.

Moving Boxes
Everywhere I look, there are boxes and crates.
It is staggering to realize that so many items can get collected in such a small space, over such a short span of time. My presence here must have doubled the number of our possessions, despite the fact that most of what I own is still in storage. Thus I can not help but feel a sense of dejavu, recalling how many times in my past the conclusion of a move turned into a disposal frenzy, when one just simply wants to throw everything away and finally be done with it.
Still, it will be exciting to once again gaze at all my belongings, using these to decorate and style our home. What a joy it will be not to have to feel like a guest any longer - even though no one ever made me feel as such here.

Once again I look at the old birch tree outside our windows realizing I will never see it green again. I will never again see the bloom of the multitude of plants and flowers I planted last spring and summer - they will instead bring enchantment to the new tenants.
I will miss the garden more than anything - particularly the scented lilac in the corner of the backyard and the ruby coloured hollyhocks, surrounding our terrace, those almost signature flowers of this house.
However I take comfort in the excitement of discovering a new green spot, the natural haven surrounding our new house. It is full of fruit trees, houses several raised planting boxes and even has a small greenhouse.
I know in no uncertain terms that comes summer, this is where I will be seeking comfort and solace during my solitude.

Therefore all that really remains is to say thank you to this latest home, which offered me shelter and made me feel safe. It has earned its righteous place in my very personal collections of the many locations, where I have laid down my hat.
The beauty of every end is that it is followed by a new beginning. Thus once again I move on, feeling endlessly excited about what is yet to come.

My Favorite View - click image to enlarge


steviewren said...

It is sad to say goodbye to something you've grown to love, but such an exciting time as well. I'm eager to see how you make your new home a home for your family by putting all of your personal touches on it. Will red again be a prominent color in your life?

Julie, Wife of a Soldier said...

Good luck to you as you move to a new place. I think I will feel that way about the house we live in right now. We have lived in it about 18 months and will probably be here another few years. I will remember how my baby was only 9 months old when we moved in and how my little boys used to play on the swings in the back. Change can be hard but it can also be a good thing.

Betsy Brock said...

Saying goodbye is always bittersweet, isn't it? Especially when it is a place in which we have lived. I've done that with each move we have made, too! You leave a little bit of your heart in each one. Can't wait to see the new place! You will have such a wonderful time settling in and making it a sweet home for you and your family! The yard sounds amazing with it's beds and greenhouse!

Brian Miller said...

smiles...you are changing too...true that..but it is hard to say goodbye...this has been a good place to you...a place to start a new life...moving is never a whole lot of fun...at least the boxing up and unboxing...much better once you settle in...i am sure you will make the new place a special one as well...

Kath said...

How very exciting!

I am SO looking forward to seeing you new home xx

Anonymous said...

I am so excited for your new adventure! I know you will be so comfortable in a home that you both chose together. As you know, I have been in this situation and can tell you it is so nice to have our own place. Your new home sounds lovely with the fruit trees and flower boxes . And you can always plant a lilac bush and anything else that you want : )

Sandy said...

We moved into our current home 13 years ago this month. And boy did we have the boxes. Books take a lot of boxes. And we have a lot of books. Luckily ours was a company move so we had professional movers. I thought I could unpack all the boxes myself but it was over whelming so I called them back to unpack them. Of course, I still had to put everything away. It was like Christmas as things were unpacked. As we enter our 14th year here this home is now where we have lived the longest of any of the homes we have had as a married couple. Like you, Zuzana, I've loved every home we had even the apartments and our first teeny tiny house. When we travel through Chicago we try to stop for the night so we can drive by all of our old homes. And my Hubby has driven me by my childhood homes in the Cleveland area over the years too. Good luck with your move. You will love your new home and being all together for a new journey and with more room. And won't it be nice to get your things out of storage?

bright star said...

I look forward to seeing some gorgeous pictures of your new home.May you and your family have a wonderful life there ,you deserve it .You are a person who makes life beautiful!

Rowan said...

How exciting to have a new house to make into a home for your family. A new garden to care for and plant as well. You'll have plenty to occupy your time while your husband is away this summer. I hope you'll be very happy in your new place.

Gail said...

Endings are always beginnings.

Myrna R. said...

I'm so happy for you Zuzana. i know there's always a bit of sadness with each good bye, but you're moving to a nicer home, where you and your family will establish your roots. This is exciting, though I also know that you dread your husband's abscense. Life is full of ups and downs. The best we can do is try to enjoy the ride.

A Lady's Life said...

This new place will be fresh and new for the two of you to make memories in.
Teenagers will grow and move on. I hardly see my son. He comes and goes and has his own life and my first son is too far away as well.
So this will be your husbands and your special place and this is wonderful to think about.
I wish you lots of luck and love and hope you both enjoy turning a house into a home.

SandyCarlson said...

It is great that you are moving on. I am glad to read your reflections on what you bring to your husband and his children whose lives you bless. Yes!

Anonymous said...

A new house - how exciting! Is it still far away from your work?

Good luck with the move - I know how stressful that can be!

Donna said...

What a beautiful post, Zuzana, and I wish you well in your new home. How exciting!

Maggi said...

It is an exciting time for you which I'm sure will counteract the sadness of leaving your current home. I hope the move goes well and that you find as much happiness in your new home together.

Rajesh said...

At the end there is always new beginning. Wish you and your family happy stay at your residence.

Marie Kléber said...

I hear you Zuzana, it is always hard to leave a place we cherish. But as you do, we should welcome with grace the new opportunities this change brings to us.
I wish you all the happiness you deserve in this adventure and may you always keep in your heart the blessings of moving together in a home you will call yours.

Much love. xx


Amanda Summer said...

home is fundamental for a cancerian, and it seems that this past year has brought upheaval in that arena for you. i don't doubt that this means the home front will become more stable in the coming weeks and months once you make your transition. i will be thinking of you and sending many blessings that you will become as grounded and rooted in your new home and may it bring many more new memories for you to savor.

with love,


A Plain Observer said...

It seems as if your destiny is to move often. This time you move on with the man you love to forge a better future for both of you. A home to grow roots and find how magical your life can be when love lives with you.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Moving is such a huge job especially with a heavy heart for leaving a place you love. But your new home sounds like a great chance to build and grow with your loved ones and for that I'm very excited for you.
Hang in there. xo jj

Anonymous said...

I love what you shared, Zuzana. "The beauty of every end is that it is followed by a new beginning."

A new home. A new garden. And bringing it all together with your wonderful, loving family. I am so happy for you, my friend!


Hilary said...

I can understand the tug of emotions you feel when leaving even a short term home behind. I plan to eventually leave and sell my home of the last 28 years. I think that will be tough. I empathize with your husband. Best of luck to you in your new space, Z. I can't wait to see photos of your new HOME.

Mimi said...

It is bittersweet to leave the home where you both found happiness together, but, oh the excitement of starting to make a new home, your first one to start together!
"together we have redefined each others reality", i really love those words, Zuzana, a perfect description of synergy.
I wish you, your husband and the children the very best of times in your new home.

Unknown said...

Well said, Zuzana. But I wish you n abundance of new, shiny memories that await you! xoxo!

Draffin Bears said...

Hi Zuzana,

Saying goodbye to an old house is always bittersweet, but how wonderful it will be moving on to something that will be your new home.
Oh and all the boxes, packing and unpacking, can be stressful so best of luck with this.
Wishing you all the very best with your new home


Sir Thomas of Sorbie said...

Hope your move goes smoothly!! Please come and visit me on my new blog "Sir Thomas of Sorbie". I have had some complications with google concerning settings and have lost my old blogs. Anyway come and register as a follower so I can easily see your inspiring posts.. Have a great weekend, my blog friend! Cheers, Tom

Snowbrush said...

Ooh, a wintertime move; I don't envy you that. Good luck with the weather.

adrielleroyale said...

Ahh here is the post I was looking for :) I have missed much, so when I saw your posts about a new place, I had to go searching for the posts about where you would be going next. It will be wonderful to see the combinations of your possessions and his uniting together :)