October 05, 2012

Musings Medley.

It has been more than a month since I last time updated this online diary and it is good to be back. I wanted to return much sooner, but my thinking was preoccupied with the pleasures of life rather than with forming coherent sentences worthwhile writing down.

I am still finding it difficult to do so.
The longing to sit down and submerge myself in self reflective prose is there, but my happy and content reality offers no philosophical contemplations. Embracing this I can always turn my writing into a medley of more creative and descriptive kind, the one that indulges and enjoys - as after all, I want my diary to reflect the true state of my life.

Thus September came and went, as I savored the bliss of sweet reunion with the only man that has ever made me feel complete. Falling into his embrace a few weeks back was the most single exhilarating experience I ever recall. Getting reacquainted with my husband took no time at all - to once again have the privilege and pleasure of each others company is heaven personified for both of us.

Not that we do not have our disagreements and small tiffs.
As two very different individuals with strong convictions we do face conflicts at times, yet our passion for life and for each other and our undying optimism prevents us from arguing for more than minutes at the time. Usually I am the one who flies of her hinges, while my husband is steady and firm as a rock, bringing me back to reality, making me smile and feeling silly, forgetting instantaneously what was it that upset me in the first place.
This is a novel concept for me - in my former relationships, conflicts usually escalated until they were the only constant in my days. It has made me realize that relationship that survive the tides of time and remain loving and harmonious are not the ones that lack conflicts and disagreements, but the ones who posses the skill and talents to overcome them, while turning these into moments of learning and growth.

While I directed my attention to life, reunion, short travels and family, nature continued its yearly cycle unnoticed and fall arrived silently, yet definitely. October is an ornate month and a month of incredible changes and contrasts. It goes from green to fiery red and golden, from sunshine to twilight, from mild to cold, from autumn to the early onset of winter. It always comes across as time span that stands between seasons and it can bring our way the heat of Indian summer at its onset or the first frost and maybe even flurries as it concludes.

I write this bundled up in blankets, in the shine of subtle candle light, while the twilight envelops the world outside. It is bewildering that only a month ago the sun was still hours short of setting and the warm evenings ruled our reality.
As we reach mid-fall, the damp air and the darkness make me long for the warmth and comfort of a crackling fire and in fleeting moments my mind returns to my old white house and its wonderful fireplace.
My life there has by now become my past.

It is amusing to ponder when exactly does something that comes across so real and tangible enter the past tense. Is it after weeks or months, or is it years... Most likely this is decided by the contents of these experiences and the extend with which they affect our reality - and the extend in which we move forward.

Having watched four seasons pass outside our windows, my present is today ruled by a welcomed sense of familiarity and routines, by love and comfort. Yet it is also messy, unpredictable, vibrant and in motion.
My life is at last the adventure I always longed it to be and I enjoy being busy living it.

21 comments:

Kath said...

welcome back lovely girl, your happiness shines out from the page xx

Kath said...

ps do I spy the Somerset levels, from the top of the tor looking towards Pilton? x

Rahul Bhatia said...

A radiant post like a streak of sunshine from clouds, Zuzana:) Happy for the bliss enjoyed by you while you were away:)

Brian Miller said...

the passions of life are far better than coherent sentences any day...ha....and i think any two people that love passionately will have conflict...but it is def not letting it take precidence over what is truly most important....good to see you friend!!!

Elizabeth said...

Hej Sweety,

Glad to see your smiling face again and hearing that everything is just as it should be.

Have a wonderful weekend with mr. & kids.

xoxo e.

Sumandebray said...

Good to see you back with the sunshine and another mood elevating post.
I like reading your posts and this was no exception

Lily Bets said...

October is a month of contrasts also for me,I hope to feel better soon,I do hope it will happen.Nice week my dear friend,I love the words you donate me.

Cottage Garden said...

Dearest Zuzanna, you have such a capacity with words. Your beautiful prose connects with us and we share and delight in your contentment and happiness!

I love the photo of the two of you out walking. Have a lovely weekend dear friend.

Jeanne
xx

ladyfi said...

I can feel your happiness and love! Just lovely!

I do love October - one of the best months for colour and beauty.

Marianne said...

Lovely Zuzana. I do agree with your conclusions about relationships surviving because of the love and commitment,not simply lack of conflict. I think this is particularly true of more mature relationships where each character is strongly formed. Enjoy x

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

Hello and welcome back!!! What a lovely post and SO HAPPY to hear of your glad reunion!

I love your words "the one who flies off her hinges" that makes me smile! A little conflict is most certainly to be expected! :)

Enjoy your weekend Zuzana!!

Mimi said...

That is such a coincidence! My recent update was after a month-long absence too!
Delighted to see you back, and delighted that the love of your life is back in your arms too.
Love your last sentence; what a mantra! enjoy your weekend, dear Zuzana.

Myrna R. said...

Welcome back Zuzana. I missed you.

I'm so glad you had a wonderful month, and there's nothing incoherent about your sentences, you're just living in your dream, which is so good.

I've been married forever, it seems, and your words about inevitable conflict sound so true. Harmony is created from disagreement I suppose, and I don't think harmony excludes the occasional tiffs, but is more about how we resolve our differences.

Anyway, so glad to read you again. Keep enjoying your life. (By the way, if I may say so, he looks very cute.)



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Betsy Brock said...

Welcome back! So glad your hubby is home and you no longer have to count the days! :)

I love your new photo and fur trimmed cardigan!

LadyCat said...

Good to see you back, my friend. Love your photo! It is nice to hear the happiness in your words. Love being bundled up in blankets...so cozy. Have a great week!

Draffin Bears said...

Welcome back Zuzana and must be great to be reunited again with your husband.
The red apples on the tree look delicious.

Happy weekend
Hugs
Carolyn

Zuzu said...

Good to have you back again, Zuzana! I always enjoy your thoughtful posts & photos.
Hugs,
Zuzu

Angela Bell said...

Lovely to have you back posting from the heart! look forward to more from you love Angela x

Rajesh said...

It is good to see you back. Have a good time.

SandyCarlson said...

It's good to have you back and to know you are in love.

Marie Vie said...

It feels so good reading you again and I enjoy very much these lines full of optimism and love.
Autumn is my season and I would love to cuddle up in a warm blanket, as the night falls on the city.
Take care dear and keep enjoying life. xx